Interesting Behavior

Recipes, and Life.

Recently, as I was digging through a box of things my mother had packed away a few months before she died in 2003, I found a tattered, rotted yellow copy of a cookbook. The cookbook was odd, it had no dust jacket, the spine was nearly undone, there was no cover, and many of  the fragile pages were torn or missing.  Why had my mother, who’d been so thorough in discarding so many other things, chosen to keep this old book?

I believe she kept this book for its connection to the rich memories of being in the kitchen with her family, but also because many of the recipes had been tried and improved upon by her mother. A cookbook for my mother, I believe, was ultimately about how she could tame the world, it gave her a sense of domestic dominion.  My mother wasn't a good or accomplished cook, so recipes offered her a path of predictability and safety, all the more valuable when they had been “proven and tested” by her mother.

Perhaps that is true for all of us.  When you follow cooking instructions carefully, you know you can avoid the burnt and sour, you can maximize success, and make everything more palatable.  Recipes teach you something about how you view the world and how to diminish exposure to the bitter taste of the unforeseen.   In short, recipes can bring one a sense of control over the forces of epicurean chaos.

Nevertheless, recipes, if followed as if there were no other options, no other improvisational spices to add to the broth, can prevent us from cultivating new tastes, creating new dishes or other gastronomical delights.  If we never open the spice drawer, we may miss the opportunity to test, and perhaps trust our own skills, or to develop a sense of adventure and flexibility.

When we are building a new business, a career, or a new project, the temptation is to head to the bookstore, or find an expert that will share the secret recipe of success with us.  We all want to fill our margins with good ideas, techniques and sales skills that give us a sense of confidence as we pursue success.  Reading success literature and being mentored are important steps in building a resilient business, but they can just as easily undermine your confidence and sense of personal creativity.  If we read all the books, develop the perfect presentation, refine our abilities to ask all the right questions and are prepared with all the correct answers, we’ve left little room for our own voice.

It’s important to have knowledge and to be an expert on what we do, but it’s also important to balance that with a taste for the unexpected and unknown.  When we embrace the unexpected and eschew the unrealistic need to have an answer for everything, our approach becomes more humane, direct and authentic.  Dealing with breakdowns and challenges by trusting our instincts and the willingness to be vulnerable will keep us present and involved, and we'll feel more accessible and “real." If we simply call on the experts to give us the answers, we may miss the chance to create a new expert in you. 

When you are cooking up something fresh, building a new project, taking on a new commitment, don’t feel as if you always have to follow the success recipes of those who’ve gone before you.  Instead, view the experts and the advice as you would a spice rack, each a flavor all their own, and each will change the outcome.  It’s up to you to develop your pallet, to experiment and try-out ideas of your own.  In the end you may be surprised to find you are the only expert you have been looking for.

Shut Up! I'm Mumbling.......

 I delivered another 2+ hour, Top Performer presentation this morning to a group in Lutsen, Minnesota. It was not one of the best presentations I've delivered, in fact, I had a hard time finding the vein energy. The vein is kind of a metaphor for enthusiasm, or natural energy.  It's a simple idea really, each presentation becomes a bit like trying find a blood vein, sticking myself until I find the righ vessel, after which energy begins to flow.

But the problem this morning, and in many presentations I've been a part of, isn't my ability to reach an audience or present a coherent message, it's the whole set up. I'm in front of the room, everyone is looking at me, I've got the microphone, the control, I have the endorsement from leadership, and the Powerpoint presentation.  In this set up there is little chance for building energy or tapping into the red vein of partnership because it sets me up as either an expert or an entertainer. 

I do it again tomorrow morning, with a different group. This time I'm going try a few more activities and discussions, and maybe I'll even have them create a different seating order. 

 

Freedom and Work

There is an old notion that great customer service can be delivered by people who have been taught the basic skill of interaction and engagement.  It's a simple idea really, hire a few friendly people, put them through one or more days of training where they'll learn the basics of the product or service and send them forth to make good in our stores, hotels, restaurants or automobile dealerships (a random list..).

(For the record, it's what I do. I've been delivering customer service training and ideas for the past decade.  My shuck and jive started with Charthouse Learning, the folks that brought the Fish! Philosophy to the world, and has continued with the Top Performer program.)

So much of what I've seen in training has more to do with limiting expression and freedom rather than actually cultivating environments that encourage happy people to be themselves.  Control, if not carefully tendered, can turn service encounters into taxidermy, embalming personnel not to act outside the accepted norm. The deal is, if we want to have organizations where there is great service, our training and focus should be on the development of great human beings whose aliveness is fully embraced.  Sure, it's potentially messy, and less control leaves space for interpretation, but the opposite is to spray pesticide on anything that grows outside the lines.  We should examine and minimize the obstacles to personal expression, freedom and accountability, rather than script and process others into providing service.  Great service is delivered by human beings who are happy..really!

A good example is the Fish! Philosophy, a powerful image of engagement and service that many misuse.  "Play" is one of the key components of Fish!, and a useful reminder.  But, Play doesn't come by training, buying stuffed toys and wearing goofy Fish hats. It arrives wholesale when we push all the useless detritus out of the way and allow human beings to show up naturally.  The conversation isn't about PLAY, it's about what gets in the way of Play, and it's a conversation that is potentially much bigger and more challenging than most are willing to admit.

If we want to build Top Performer cultures, or Top Performer service, our focus should and must be on what gets in the way to free expression, including an examination of our tendency to cast off our own responsibilities and yield to those "in charge" to control everything around us.  We need to cultivate conversations about what freedom is, about ambiguity, and what are the limits and dangers it brings.  It's a grown up conversation. We can develop managers and directors that are collaborators, not wardens and parents, and employees that recognize they are the flesh of the organization and are a big source of energy and expression that makes a brand human and vital.

Great training programs can be boiled down to having conversations that matter. These conversations are always incomplete, and never ending, because feelings are never final.  Freedom and accountability are not an easy conversation, nor simple to train. It takes courage for the performer to boldly step into the Pitch (job) and Claim it as her own.   It takes fortitude and grace to rally against the forces of distraction, to remain vulnerable and open to working with whatever shows up, and to reach out and make contact with another person.  We have to be willing to let go of a few things, and not always know how it's going to come out.

We are bigger than training programs and shouldn't be satisfied to be contained to simple metrics and lab rat training programs. We humans are messy, and have far more to offer the world if we just stand up, as uncomfortable as it sometimes feels, and claim our freedom and deny anything that is too small for us.

"F#%K Cancer!"

I have a friend of mine who has been through cancer hell lately, and just when it seemed like the guy was on his feet again he's back in the hospital, but this time he's suffering from the fallout from his chemo. If you visit his Facebook page, instead of a smiling profile picture of him, there is a tapestry that simply reads "Fuck Cancer." I don't blame him, cancer is a biological terrorist attack within our own body, and when you've been through what he's been through, you may be inclined to dispense with niceties.  

This morning I came across the music video (above), apparently created as a "Breast Cancer Awareness" piece. It's a hospital staff happily dancing around their hospital, complete with pink surgical gloves and standard issue scrubs. They are having such a good time, all smiles, as the choreographed dance line mambo's  in front of all the hospital equipment and surgical rooms.  Apparently, these are joyful people, the kind of people you are supposed to want when you have cancer. Good for them.

When I consider these two images though, my friend growing sicker and weaker, and the happy people at the cancer treatment center, I am struck by the discord.  Cancer is horrible and while I appreciate the idea that a patient might be a bit more comfortable if the nurses are happy in their job, the patient is actually more interested in what she knows, not how she feels. Happy employees have little impact on my cancer cells, contrary to some who think we can cure any disease with positive thoughts.  For my wellness, I want doctors and my nurses to have knowledge, and that they be academically smart. The positive attitudes are more important to them, but as a patient, it seems to me, they're merely a modest improvement.  When you consider the image of death and dying, chemo sickness, and everything else that comes with being deathly ill, the singing, dancing, and positivity seem a little odd.

I think it's cool that these people made something that felt good, joy is important,  and they all seemed to be having a good time.  We owe medical professionals our lives, but I am okay with them doing what they need to do, and I won't expect the chicken dance and a polka in the hospital isles. Should I find myself in the hospital in a health crisis would I want happy dancing and pink gloved shadow puppets around me? Just keep me out of pain, and save my life, how ever you want to accomplish that.

Orson Welles. Life is Life.

There is this odd notion that work life and our personal life are separate containers. The mature view is that life is life, and separating them may in fact cause some of us to experience more anxiety.  My life is being used, whether I am sitting in front of television, or writing at my computer. I may identify something as work related, and others more leisure focused, but still, my heart beat and nervous system remain agnostic about which is work, and which isn't.

In this lovely clip, Welles, who was a notoriously hard worker, talks about how life is life. In this interview, we also see Welles doubts about his own success.

Cooks In The Kitchen

Darren Bush has written a recollection of a lovely story about an evening in Thai restaurant.

Having spent a lot of time in the restaurant business this story really caught me. 

It reminds me of the final scene in the terrific movie "Big Night." After the characters have been through a particularly tough and disappointing night and it looks like they will have to shut the doors to their Italian restaurant, the next morning they quietly shuffle into kitchen, and each of them begins making breakfast. It's a moment of healing and quiet reflection, and something normal in the aftermath of difficulties.